2009

The last time I was here, I just broke up with my ex. Now, what to say?

What?

Ano bang ginagawa ko dito sa Cebu?
Dapat ba talagang andito ako? Bakit nga?
Kung nasa Manila lang ba ko, makikilala ko ba sia?
Ano naman ang buhay sa Manila kung sakasakali?

F*ck. Ang daming tanong!!! Wala bang makakasagot nito??

Rag Doll

How ya feelin?
The day has had its way with both of us
And no, Ive gone out of my way
But I'm not free
From this pain Im reelin
I was a fool to think some day you would come around
But no no no I'm not thinking that way
Cause now I see

You are not what you seem
You are a mystery to me
Sometimes I just wana scream

I think you should just go away cause
Theres no neccesity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby youre not comin in

Hows your day been?
Cause mine has taken strange and ugly turns
But no no no I feel better today
Cause Im off my knees

You are not what you seem
You are a mystery to me
Sometimes I just wana scream

I think you should just go away cause
Theres no neccesity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby youre not comin in

A heart made for a lot of sorrow
No you cant come back tomorrow
Shut my windows, lock my doors
Cause my heart won't be your rag doll anymore.....

I think you should just go away cause
Theres no neccesity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby youre not comin in

A heart made for a lot of sorrow
No you cant come back tomorrow
Shut my windows, lock my doors
Cause my heart won't be your rag doll anymore.....
Cause my heart wont be your Rag Doll anymore!

Inuumpisahan ko na yung blog, di ko pa alam ang title. nahihirapan din akong magtype sa bagong laptop, sanay ako sa normal na keyboard. naiiyak ako ngayon, di ko alam sa kung anong dahilan. March 16, isang buwan na simula ng bumalik sia sa bansa nila. 3 araw bago isang buong 3 bwan na akong nandito sa cebu. 3 buwan....parang 3 taon.

Masyadong maraming nangyari. yung theme song ng buhay ko ngayon, parang Over You na ni Chris Daughtry, pero ilang araw lang ang nakakaraan, Realize pa lang to ni Colby Caillat. Lips of an Angel kaya ang kanta nya ngayon?

Sa loob din ng 3 araw, napuno ko na ng gamit ang apartment ko. TV, DVD Player, speakers....dumating na rin ang box ko galing ng maynila para makumpleto na ang mumunting abubot ng buhay ko para dito sa cebu.

Nung wala ang lahat ng ito, lahat ng mga gamit na to, merong isang bagay na kumumpleto ng buhay ko. Nabuhay ka na ba na 2 pants, 5 blouse, 5 panty, 2 bra at isang swimsuit lang ang meron ka sa loob ng 3 linggo? Nung mga panahon na yon, sapat na yon, kasi may isang bagay na kumukumpleto sayo. Hindi mo akalain na pagkatapos ng ilang araw ay kailangan mong gumastos ng mahigit sampung libo para mapalitan ang nagiisang bagay na nawala.

Nawala.....bakit "nawala"? Iyo nga ba in the first place? Sabi nya oo, pero matapos ang 2 linggo, hindi daw pala. Ang labo! Gusto mo mapamura, sarap hamunin ng suntukan!

Wala pakong 3 buwan sa Cebu. Parang 3 taon na ko nakatigil dito. Pagod na pagod ako. Ayoko na agad. Ibang iba sa mga plano ko ang kinalabasan ang istorya ko sa Cebu. Trabaho at bagong lugar lang ang habol ko...wala akong hiniling o binalak na may magbabago pa sa estado ng buhay ko. 29 years old, pag wala pang asawa, anak na lang. May kausap na nga ako. Di ko na kailangan ang asawa, sakit lang sa ulo. Anak ko na lang, maganda kasi pipiliin ko ang magiging tatay.

Masaya naman ako e, bakit kailangan pang magulo kasi lang may isang bagay kang nakuha para sang saglit.

just tired

what the fu*k!!!!
here we go again.
im soooooo tired of this sh*t.
i wanna rest, i dont wanna be bothered anymore with that pathetic thing.
i wanna be left alone....why cant you just leave me alone.
you're messing everything up
you messed everything up.

im so tired.
i just wanna rest.

i wanna be alone.
leave me alone.

dont ever come back.

I Won't Cry

Oh what can I say...

You came and got things today,I packed your car, I watched you drive away.I cried so many tears that day,It burnt my face, it felt like acid rain.I know I can't keep lying to myself,I said I'd be content with someone else,I know I never have to face the pain, baby baby,

I won't cry no more, I won't drown in my tearsI won't die no more, I've got over my fearsAnd I'm moving on, girl I know what to do.Cause I'm beter off wihtout you, and we both know that it's true.

Well,It's going to take a little, to stick in my mind,the fact you're gone for good.Cause when you said you're leaving me, I heard it before,I never really you would.Maybe I should glad that you gone away.I know the pain would not be here to stayIf I could only fool myself maybe, baby,

I won't cry no more, I won't drown in my tearsI won't die no more, I've got over my fearsAnd I'm moving on, girl I know what to do.Cause I'm beter off wihtout you, and we both know that it's true.

That I won't cry, I'm moving on.Well, well.I know it's hurt enough, to fall in and out of love,But when something is gone, to keep holding on,Will only break your heart.So I won't play the fool, by begging you to stay.I wanna keep it inside, til you're out of sight,Maybe then wait,

I won't cry no more, I won't drown in my tearsI won't die no more, I've got over my fearsAnd I'm moving on, girl I know what to do.Cause I'm beter off wihtout you, and we both know that it's true.

I won't cry no more, I won't drown in my tearsI won't die no more, I've got over my fearsAnd I'm moving on, girl I know what to do.Cause I'm beter off wihtout you, and we both know that it's true.

Realize

[V1:] Take time to realize,
That your warmth is. Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.
But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

[C:] If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now.

[V2:] Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by.. Didn't I tell you
But I can't spell it out for you,
No its never gonna be that simple
No I can't spell it out for you.

[C:] If you just realized what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
Then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now.

[V3:] It's not always the same
No it's never the same
If you don't feel it to.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

[C:] If you just realized what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
Then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
Just realized what I just realized

OoOoOOo

Missed out on each other now
Missed out on each other now

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

Ask any literary critic -- and most discerning readers -- to name the greatest living American novelist, and Cormac McCarthy is sure to surface as a major contender. Best known for his powerful regional fiction (Sutree, the Border Trilogy, Blood Meridian, et al), this dazzling prose stylist crafts tragic, unforgettable stories suffused with violence, alienation, and an undeniably apocalyptic vision. Now, in what we consider McCarthy's best novel to date, the apocalypse itself becomes a set piece. Unfolding in a terrifying future where Armageddon has been waged and lost, The Road traces the odyssey of a father and his young son through a desolate landscape of devastation and danger. Powerful, moving, and extraordinary by any standard, this is McCarthy at his greatest and gravest.

bored

i now have in my hands the application for admission forms to the UP College of Business Administration MBA Program. I have until Friday to finish submitting all the requirements. With this happening right now, I need to reevaluate my location and move somewhere near diliman. or not. if i am unable to meet peyup's deadline then i have to wait until next year to enroll. do i really need to take my master's now? do i have to learn the ropes first hand before actually taking up any masteral degree? what about my own field? shouldn't i be taking MPT at UST instead of MBA at UP? if i'm MPT, then that is not in line with my career, pursuing PT is far on my mind, at least right now but it extremely makes sense that I be an MPT because that was my college course. I don't want to simply waste all my hardwork in college.....

and i'm planning to move to a different apt again. this will be my 4th relocation, if ever, in a span of 3 years. not bad....nothing can really tie me down. i'm moving because i'm bored. and relocating is one of the easiest thing to do with my current situation. since i do not have the liberty of changing my crowd (unlike in college where i can move from one block to another) or else i'll lose my job, i can only change my living environment. i can again have the freedom to like then eventually hate my abode and move again.

monotony bores me. my job is challenging but it is the same challenges day over day....only the degree differs. spending days with the same people (that are not my close friends) bores me.....since i can't change the situation, i'll add another one. and that is why i wanted to go back to school. so i'll meet new people and have fun disliking them too.

amazing rob and amber

and once again, i almost forgot that i am trying to maintain this blog. it never really was comfortable sharing my thoughts with other people much less strangers. boston rob and amber lost again their second bid for the million in the amazing race all star. i was sad. seriously, it made me feel sad to see such fine racers lose to the freaky cousin's charla and myrna. rob and amber are not the best people on earth, they rarely go out of their way to help the competition, they'll actually only do that if they are bound to gain something in return. and that is called competition. the way rob did it during his survivor stint, the first amazing race and this one, it is simply amazing. very smart, witty, all brains.

end of entry....sleepy.

changes ii

done #s 1, 2 and 7
accomplished #8, even if it's valentine's day yesterday
forgot #10
slept through #11

not that hard huh!

changes

february 13th. dropped by the mall before going to work. a lot of couples are already dating, men queueing to buy flowers. wow, really expensive flowers. one bouquet of malaysian mumps costs Php250 when normally I think it only costs Php150. okay, so i don't have a date this valentine's, which is okay given the amount of work i have to finish before the 15th.

i thought about these while riding a taxi on my way to work:

1. drink fruit juice instead of coffee
2. eat rice at least once a day but never from the office pantry
3. clean my place once a week or twice a month....hahahaha!
4. go home to cavite at least twice a month
5. buy a fridge and still not cook at home
6. pay off credit card debt before april 2007
7. buy flowers for the vase i borrowed :)
8. not to go looking for an2 and aac anymore
9. go on vacation at least twice a year, kahit sa cebu na lang palagi
10. wear at least a blush-on and lipstick everyday
11. listen to chico and del every morning
12. take up a sport

let's see what i'll stick to.

animal kingdom foundation

i saw this on tv. don't remember what it is about, jessica soho i suppose. they take care of abused and abandoned dogs. i went online to see if i can adopt one, well i don't fit the description of a person fit to take care of a dog. i live alone, mostly not at home, when at home i only sleep. i hardly buy food for myself, much less for the dog. but, iam not going to adopt the dog for myself, i'm going to bring it to cavite, leave it at my tita's house coz we really raise dogs. still, the set up at my tita's house does not fit the foundation's requirements. that's ok, i'll just give the monthly fee to help the foundation take care of the dogs. maybe i can volunteer, if i can't bring home one, i can still take care of them in another way. at least dogs wil love unconditionally. arrrggghhh!!!! dogs and valentine's day are in the same category in my twisted mind. not fair.

visit this site and see if you can help: www.animalkingdomfoundation.org

one of those days

i'm tired. the different kind of tired. my best friend, the venti non-fat no whip cafe mocha, can only do so much to help me. i can't wait for april so i can go home to cebu and finally get back to that island near alegria and simply stare my days away. "stare my days away". i love doing that, looking at soemthing and not reacting about it in anyway, just looking at it. i did that once in batangas, during the company outing. i laid on a comfy bench, stared at the sky and counted shooting stars. extremely peaceful and relaxing. the morning after, i sat on the same bench and watched the fishes scurry and jump over the sea water, seriously wondering if that school of fish is really going to fish school. when is coconuter gonna post his Manila blog?

of deadlines and simple instructions

do you have issues with deadlines? i don't have one, it actually helps me organize my day, week, month, my work. so why is it, for other people, so hard to meet them? why?!? i hate it. i hate it when you set a deadline so that the rest of the activity goes on without a hitch and here comes along a lazy f*ck who can't meet your deadline and everything falls out of order. don't you just want to kill them?

what about those times when you ask them to do something a certain way, go out of your way to actually guide them step by step and they still can't get it right? omg!!!! i can't believe these people actually finished college.

no other term but "dumb".